From many days I have been wanting to pen down my emotions on Jiah Khan’s suicide which has triggered many speculations. I have been busy writing my fifth book and a periodic fiction but taking out some time and shunning all speculations, I sat down to pour my heart’s lamentations. I want to very simply put down this fact that her suicide was the result of an emotionally disturbed simple girl with a simple heart. Although living in Bollywood, she could not adapt herself to the treacherous traumatic ways of it.
As I am writing this piece, my Cook came with a cup of tea for me and asked me to show ‘the photo of the heroine who has committed suicide’! She connects herself to Jiah and questions why did she commit suicide when she was so rich? My maid thinks if she was in Jiah’s position, she would have had a rocking life and perhaps she would never think of ending her life which she often does these days! I question her back, ‘Do you want to end your life because you are poor or because you are being tortured by your husband?’ She pauses for few seconds and replies reflectively, with certain bitterness in her tone. ‘Because I am tortured-because he goes to other woman and uses my body as well’.
‘Oh the same problem everywhere- in all strata of society’ I thought. ‘Emotions playing heavily on the minds of all women and these women pay heavily as they are not able to segregate themselves from their relationships. All these women desperately want their men (who often do not deserve them) to be around them. Jiah too could not forget and comprehend how the same boy can change after sending her roses etc and wooing her in the most romantic manner. As I read somewhere she had an abortion too. What else can we think of her than a complete emotional fool? She was connected and attached to her state of romance from where she was not able to pull herself and accept life-accept that change is inevitable- accept that men in all eras have been the same. Their love fizzles out as their craving for the body after who they were lusting dwindles.
Jiah alias Nafisa Khan had completely buried herself in ‘that time’ when she had been wooed by her boyfriend and could not tolerate his slightest negligence. She took this relationship seriously unawares that her boyfriend still has to make his career and in no way can opt for marriage.
Parents leave children to pursue their dreams, as Jiah’s mother has said in an interview. But why do parents forget that children are always children and need their constant counselling- constant love. Jiah committed suicide when she was all alone in her house. Her career was not going well. Mother was busy with her younger sister’s wedding and she had no one to talk to except her boyfriend who was also getting busy… Please parents’ being an actor is not an easy job or profession. Even a small job has lots of mental pressure- school and college life has so much pressure then the heroine Jiah’s life in all respect seemed to be extremely troubled.
I think every woman in her life to some extent undergoes this kind of pressure. I have read at many places that suicide is not the only option but how much blabbering and preaching we may do, we are not there with that person who at that time is undergoing the mental turmoil and takes the decision to end his/her life. Yes Jiah was emotional and love meant everything for her- she dreamed love- she breathed love…. and she went to her final abode for her love…
Few lines for the departed soul
“I drink the poisonous goblet thinking it to be wine….
My throat burns, my limbs fail- the poison looms large stinging my mind…..
Intoxication fails and I am still alive…
I touch the droplets of blood and feel… feel the strength they have
Dark clouds melt into bloody tears…
the fog continues… and I am still alive….”
(Sources: information gathered from television, and different print media.)
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